A Leader in the Making

It has been a year since I started the program.  When I came onboard there was so much I needed to learn about leadership. Now that I have completed this year and am now a second year student there is still so much that I have to learn.  At times I feel like I am ready for the next challenge, but feel like I need to remain in my current leadership position. For many reasons really. One being I get to finish working on my doctoral degree without the threat of a new boss telling me I can't. Two being that I am finally understanding my new position and feel a part of the team. And lastly, I am finally trusting my boss, something I really struggled with in the beginning.

I remember when I got there I was so excited about the position and new opportunity.  Than doubt crept in and I had trust issues. For a number of reasons. I had observed my boss and some of the things she did caused me to seriously doubt her. I couldn't ignore it, I had to deal with it.  What I found was that I needed to renew my mind. Not just every once in a while but daily.  There was still reason to not trust, but not the way I had perceived it to be.  As I took the matter to God and prayed about it, He began to reveal a flaw in my thinking and processing. One that could potentially cost me key relationships in the future. This process of growth and renewal of my mind was not one I was familiar with nor comfortable with.

I had to trust God more and allow Him to grow me through others. But the growing pains were more than what I was willing to bear, until God allowed me to fail.  When I came to my end, I turned back to my Father in wise counsel and the only thing He could say is endure.  Endure meaning, trust me in what I have allowed you to be in.  The place called Meadows is the place of Past and Future.  It is the place where I leave my past and the place where I walk into my future. It is an important place because the ones who He has allowed to be over me will teach me for the next place.

One thing that you must understand about this process for me, is that I hate criticism, especially unwarranted. It is not always easy for me to accept people's truth concerning me. When my boss tells me something negative about my character, I tend to be defensive. But once I consider it, I realize that even though it may not be all true, the small part that may be true is worth me drawing my attention to.  A leading in the making is not made over night.  It takes years of molding.  Now that I am entering into year two of my study, I can honestly look back and say I have grown tremendously as a leader and an educator.  When this process is over, I look forward to being the kind of leader that everyone wants on their team.