My fear is that when I trust you, I will bring you into my circle and then, when I least expect it, you will hurt me, talk about me, and try to destroy me. With my trust comes my loyalty, great qualities that we look for in good people we call our friend. The problem is there are far too many corrupt people in the world. We live in a world that is destined to self destruct. When I turn on the news, or go to work, my eyes witness the decay of man. I do find hope in those who are trust worthy but struggle at times when there are far to many people who are not trustworthy.
In order to build trust as Bolman and Deal described in their book "Leading With Soul," you have to feel safe and secure. It has been very difficult for me even in my professional relationships to establish this kind of quality with people. I consider my self to be a very trustworthy and loyal person, but can't seem to find that quality in too many other people.
I have been fortunate enough to be in a group of doctoral students. Even though I don't intimately know most of you, the ones I do intimately know (Krista & Lakesha), I feel safe and secure with. I feel like I can truly be myself around them. That's what I mean about trust. Until I have it with you, I am myself, but feel limited. I don't know if this all makes sense, but what I do know is that i struggle with "Trust."
As an upcoming leader, my desire is to build trust with people and get over my fears of trusting and being hurt. In my world the "Speed of Trust" is really slow if you know what I mean. As I reflect on this further, I will consider changing the vehicle that I am currently in so that I can improve my speed.
I hope you enjoyed my blog for this Sunday. I felt I needed to open up more and share what really goes on in my world.
3 comments:
Rosa, trust takes time and the desire to make strong connections. If you first trust God and obey his will he will direct your path and lead you to those who know him. Put God first in all relationship. Listen and look for him in others and build relationship with those who know and truly love him. We all live in fear and apprehension. None of us want to experience the pain of hurt and disappointment other betray us or let us down. Still we must deprive good souls of the wonderous things God has given us to share. I agree with you when you say you don't really know itimately all of the cohort members. However, I feel we all have a common purpose that has been sanctioned by God. That common purpose is the one thing that will bond us together as one. The process may appear slow, but it is in place as we communicate with each other during class, during breaks, through blogs and while working in our small groups. I hope you and I can get to know each other even better to build a stronger sense of trust. I have only one confession to make as we move our friendship forward...I'm not perfect.
Our pastor preached on patience this morning. The pastor showed the kids pumpkin seeds, and his point was you plant the seed(s)6 months ago (at Easter), and then in the fall you will have pumpkins for October and November. You have to have patience and wait on the Lord.
Trusting others you will have to have patience. It's not easy to trust people when they have hurt you in the past. Good things come to those who wait on the Lord- in His timing
"Be patient, then my brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming near. Don't grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!" James 5: 7-9
Thank you for sharing, Rosa. I suspect we have all been where you are, and there are times when we go back there, in spite of the trust lessons we have learned. My hope is that our time together will be one of genuine concern for each other and for trust building.
Post a Comment