Today was a rough day. I'm feeling like I want to quit my job again. What a dysfunctional team God placed me under. I have a principal who doesn't support me, an assistant principal who tries to undermine me, and a secretary and a 4th grade teacher who want to both do my job.
Til this day my principal hasn't given me any clear descriptions on my job duties or expectations. She did however, give me a list of administrative duties. The problem is, when I try to do my job, I can't. I do the job and operate in a spirit of excellence, but there are people in the building who think they can do what they want and step in my lane.
Meanwhile, I sit back and observe. I'm tired of making observations. I am ready to start addressing individuals, but the dilemma always is whether I will get the support I will need. I feel like I am in a lose-lose situation.
I am not sure what God's plan is. What I do know is that I am not comfortable with it right now. I am afraid that it may look bad on my appraisal even though I am doing what I am suppose to do. But how can you effectively do a job when so many variables are in the way? How do you rate that?
When I think my job is one thing, it looks like another. I am unclear what is expected of me. I need structure in my life. I have always needed it. Maybe the lesson here is let Me (God) be your structure and stop depending on Man to provide the structure and identity you need. I need to seek Him and be comfortable where He has placed me. He has a plan for this place and I need to be flexible, comfortable, trusting of His plan (easier said than done). After all, it is His plan, I am but a pawn in the grand scheme of things.
I just hope that I learn the lesson and from this I learn how to be the leader God desires, not Man. Jesus said, "He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light." I will follow Him, and in following Him, not only will I find my way, but will discover my purpose.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry you are having troubles at work. Just remember Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Since you know that you will recieve an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
Praying for you!
Rosa, I thought of you today. When you look back on this time it will be a great learning opportunity when you had to deal with a difficult situation and difficult people. Keep your eyes open for the lesson that you need to learn, pray for those around you, and I'll pray that God will send you some more "Balcony People".
Remember, we are cheering for you in Cohort 4! We know you are smart, considerate, enthusiastic, sweet, (a great momma), and you will get through this.
Give your darling little boy a big hug tomorrow morning and soak it in. It will be worth it.
Rosa, just wanted to send a message of encouragement your way. Sometimes you have to go slow to go fast. Take the time to build relationships. I'm working with dynamic teacher I hired from out of state. She is experienced, smart, capable and has a caring heart for kids. She is also, new to this state, this district and our campus. She wants to act swiftly, but she is facing resistance from teachers. The teachers are reluctant to trust her because they don't know her, she is unfamiliar with the TEKS, unfamiliar with the culture of our district and our campus and they have had the unfortunate experience of working with the previous person that was incompetant. I know she feels like she has shackles around her ankles, but she has got to give herself permission to get to know the teachers, the curriculum and the culture. All she can see is what she wants to change. But, she doesn't know them well enough to know what their strengths are. She's got to build a relationship with them before they will be able to listen to her ideas. It's difficult. I know this is a new job for you and you want so much to be useful and successful. You have all of the skills to be exactly what this campus needs. They just may need to get to know you better before they can trust you. Go slow to go fast. Develop relationships with people that you seem to have an easy connection with and let those people help spread a possitive message. It's hard to be a support teacher, because classroom teachers often think that no one works as hard as they do. Be patient. Your cohort is cheering you on and this experience will help you to help someone else along the way. Faith is often a time of waiting and struggling. Abraham waited a long time to recieve the promise. Monarch butterflies have to struggle and fight to be free from the cacoon. If someone helps them and frees them too early, they die. The struggle is a time of growing wings so they can fly. Praying for peace, patience and wings to fly for you!
Rosa, I really empathize with your situation. I was in a similar postion a few years ago and was ready to throw in the towel. But I did what Donna suggested and kept building relationships among the faculty members. As they began to hear what I could bring to the table for them, they then started to approach me with their questions and concerns; seeking my advice. You are a very capable and smart young lady with a multitude of skills to offer any campus. Remember, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me". Philipians 4:13. I'll be prayer for you!
Your Cohort 4 friends have given you good advice from their voices of experience. I went through a period like that in my career that lasted six years of struggle. When I got into a leadership position to create the context of community I advised the support people who worked with me to remember that the only way we could be successful was to be invited. Our unofficial motto was "we work by invitation." Billy seems to have had that same experience. We all care about you, and God has put you among us to be your encouragers. He has also put you among us to bless our lives, and you are doing a good job of that!
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